I must confess: I am Scared to Share my Faith

My goodness I have been all tore up about this one! It is hard for me to admit this but I am most certain I am not alone on this, and so I feel like I must confess.

I am not one to make small talk with strangers. Lets be real clear on this. Just the mere thought of discussing something as simple as the weather with someone I don't know throws me into a panic attack. I am mortally afraid of making a fool of myself-and for good reason. I have a track record of botching conversations and humiliating myself. (I'd like to think its because I am socially challenged and not because I am a complete moron-but who am I kidding?)

Needless to say, approaching someone and asking them about their eternal destination brings a whole new meaning to panic attack; thus, I have come up with great excuses to justify why it is okay for me to avoid publicly witnessing and sharing my faith: 1. I invite people to church when I am given the opportunity. If and when they attend, they will hear the gospel message then. 2. I wear 'christian' t-shirts that refer to my faith so others will know I"m sold out for Jesus. 3. I spend time building relationships and trust with people in hopes that they will ask me about my faith. (Don't want to offend someone and push them away you know.)

I've come to the realization, as of late, where I must be honest with myself. I am not doing what God has asked me to do. I am not living according to God's word, I am spending my life living for the world. I've considered myself to be a 'good' Christian for a LONG time. I have a pretty good track record; I haven't missed a church service for any reason in months (and not for years if you exclude the times when I had to stay home with sick children who were banned from nursery.) I read my Bible (almost) daily. I read the Bible to my kids and sing them songs about Jesus. I pray for the lost, our country, friends, family, even strangers. I tithe, I volunteer MOST of my time to the church. I work in the Sunday School department, and help lead weekly services for children and youth worship. I am a pastor's wife for Pete's sake-of course I am a good christian! Yet-God doesn't want a good Christian. He wants a completely devoted to Him and Him alone Christian.

I am a list person. I thrive on making to-do lists, I love the satisfaction of crossing something off a long list. I have even been known to write down something I've done, that wasn't on my list, just so I can have the satisfaction of marking through it. (Yes, I realize I have issues.) I recently made a list of some things I needed to get done around the house. When I finished, God spoke to my heart.

"If the rapture happened tomorrow-what on your list would matter then?"

"Oh my goodness, none of this would!" Frantically I looked at my daily and weekly schedule, and I considered how I spend my time. You know what? I spend more time living for the world and acting like a 'good' Christian than I do actually living like a Christian. I've taken a long hard look at my life and I don't like what I see.

During my quiet time today God lead me to Proverbs 24:11 "Deliver those who are being taken away to death. And those who are staggering to slaughter, Oh hold them back."

'Those who are staggering to the slaughter' refers to those who are lost and on their way to hell. I believe there is life after death. I believe in heaven and hell. I believe the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ. You can't be good enough, nice enough, or do enough good deeds to escape hell. There are hundreds of thousands of millions of people who are walking directly into hell, into a horrific place of unimaginable pain... and I have been wasting my time being a 'good' Christian. I realize that must be equivalent to standing on a street corner and watching every person that passes me die from walking blindly directly into the path of busy oncoming traffic, yet I stand watching and doing nothing. I'm just minding my own business, happy that I will eventually get across the road safely.

Think about it. Imagine the horrors Hell must have in store if the bible is true. I'm just going to allow that to happen and not care about saving anyone but myself.

God just cured me from my fear of speaking to strangers.