Why Time In the Word Is So Important

A few weeks ago I found out I had to say goodbye to the first child I thought it was realistically safe to expect to adopt. Sure the word adoption had been thrown out and around before, but this was more concrete. I thought I was going to get a front row seat to watch God transform this baby I didn't make, but whole heartedly loved as if I did, from broken, abused and unwanted to loved, treasured, and desperately hoped for. Fully expecting that one day he would be healed from the trauma he never deserved. Fortunately this sweet child is still going to get those things, it's just not going to be here with me like I had hoped for.

When all this went down I spiraled hard and fast. My feet were knocked out from under me and my breath was completely knocked out of me. I didn't know if I could get up again. If I would ever breathe again. Or even want to. Why go through the pain of taking in and loving a child who is utterly devastated and broken if they're just going to take that child away and not let me see it through to the other side?

I started to dream of running away. My husband has been on unemployment for far too long and the only offers he gets for work he declines because they would take us away from where we are now. If we leave here we would have to step away from fostering for at least a season. The temptation to quit foster care, to walk away from the trauma and the heartache of it all, has never been so strong in my life. We could take a job somewhere, anywhere, and our tiny core family of five could live the simple life. Traveling and chasing after jobs. Touring the country and soaking up life together. Away from all the bondage of foster care.

On top of the overwhelming desire to run away from foster care was the soul crushing searing pain of loss and grief and ultimately fear that gripped my heart and mind. Feelings of failure and mistakes. The what-ifs. Frantically trying to make the wrongs right and fix it somehow. Utterly helpless in fixing anything.

I was being tossed around in the waves of life. Hurricane level swells were leaving me broken and battered, deprived of the air I desperately needed to live. I wasn't alone in my grief. I had a life raft in the storm to cling to. My journal was filled with the whispers that God had been speaking to my heart. His words that spoke intimately to me in the quiet of my mornings. I knew I was drowning so I thumbed through my journal and reviewed the exact verses that God led me to find each day and what He whispered to me in a real and personal way ministered to me. These stories, these snippets that God spoke to me through. They were what kept me afloat. Kept my head above water.

For the past thirteen weeks this is some what God has been speaking to me.

In Genesis when Adam and Eve stood unashamedly naked before God, He whispered to me that I was His and He wanted me to stand exposed unashamedly just the way I am and allow others to see what He can do.

When Cain was angry and dejected because God did not accept the offering of some of his crops I was reminded that I needed to give God the first and the best of all that I had to offer.

When Noah was told to build a boat and fill it with all the living creatures I was mesmerized by the fact that Noah didn't go on a safari looking for all the animals he needed for his floating zoo. He just built the boat. God took care of the details and Noah didn't waste one iota of time worrying about things he had no control over.

When Noah sat in the boat for months patiently waiting for the earth to dry God reminded me there are seasons of waiting, times of growing and trusting.

When Job cried out to God in despair because he had lost everything including his children I was reminded that my life needed to be spent focusing on what truly matters. Not worldly things that are ultimately a waste.

When God spoke to Job from the whirlwind I realized I have tunnel vision and I am too consumed with myself.

When Job acknowledged God's complete authority I had to acknowledge it as well. God is able to be in complete control of all things and no one can stop God.

When the people tried to build the tower of Babel I realized my focus needed to be making God look good not me.

When God was assuring Abram that he would be protected and rewarded and didn't need to be afraid He was assuring me that He had my back in all things.

When God promised Abram a son and Sarai couldn't fathom how that could be she made a huge mess and God reminded me to wait on Him in all things and to never ever take things into my own hands.

When Lot was dragged to safety by angels I was reminded to lay down my idols of comfort and never grow weary of praying for the ones I love.

When Abraham made assumptions and acted out of fear I was reminded to trust God to move in all situations that have potential problems.

When God tested Abraham I was reminded to sacrifice myself for others.

When Rachel watered camels I was reminded to go above and beyond when serving others.

When Esau sold his birthright for soup I was reminded to never sacrifice something with eternal value for comfort today.

When Jacob slept and saw the spiritual realm around him I was reminded that God is here with me.

When Leah learned to praise God, even from a life as the unwanted and unloved wife, God reminded me to praise Him in all the things.

When God provided for Jacob he whispered He would provide for me as well.

When Esau forgave Jacob I was reminded to respond to hurts with love and forgiveness.

When God gave Joseph loyal love He whispered to me that I could trust His loyal love for me.

When Joseph gave God the credit I was reminded to do the same.

When there was famine and Jacob told his sons to get a move on and go buy some grain God whispered to me to stop standing frozen in fear.

When Judah took complete responsibility sacrificing himself for his little brother I was reminded to live out a life of self-sacrifice.

In the middle of the famine God spoke to me that just like the Egyptians completely sold all they had to Pharaoh all that I have and am is God's.

Jacob and Rachel and Leah taught me that broken places lead to God and the midwives in Egypt taught me to obey God not man.

Moses taught me to take it all to God. He alone knows all, understands all, and remembers all. I need to be patient and trust God with the big picture, to pay attention when God speaks, to find stability in Christ, to pray and seek God's presence when unable to see the way before me, to keep calm and let God handle it, and to cry out to God for help. That mercy is greater than wrath, and I should rely on the light of God's word. God sanctifies. God skilled me for a purpose. That a lack of Godly counsel and leadership leads to bad choices, if I want a sunnier disposition I need more time with God and above all else I need to pray constantly.

In Leviticus I learned to freely worship and rest in the Lord and what He has done, that it is all God. I am not able.

In Numbers God reminded me to not whine or complain, to trust him completely. To not tuck tail and run. To trust God in the scary places. That the dry and wretched places have a purpose.

In Deuteronomy God reminded me that he would see me through the great and terrible wilderness patches in my life. He would fight for me. He would sustain me. That it was my choice to choose life and blessings by choosing to hold close to Him. That He alone is my good life, my abundant life, and fulfillment.

In Joshua God reminded me that he doesn't call me to the simple easy life. He calls me to be steadfast and determined to the life that He has called me to. A life dead to self and completely surrendered to His kingdom. That the secret to prosperous successful life was in the Word. To not stress the long term and just trust God to get me through the day.

In Judges I had to acknowledge that my heart longs to worship idols. That my troubles were reminders to stop lusting after worthless idols and turn back to fully devoted to following the Lord. No matter what. No matter where. That doubts lead to making decisions based on human reckoning and no good comes of that. To not live selfishly or self indulgently because its not about me or what I want or what I think looks best. It's about giving all that I am to God. That ultimately God has a plan and a purpose and my shortcomings won't overthrow it.

In Ruth God whispered to be a Boaz. To provide protection, abundant provision and love to the people he has placed around me. To be a woman of excellence. Known to be loyal, kind, hardworking, and above all else open to instruction.

Thirteen weeks in the Old Testament full of lessons I needed to survive this unexpected storm that has swept me away. Much of what I needed to survive God gave to me before I ever even knew I would so desperately cling to it drowning in a deep dark place.

I'm fairly confident I'm not the only one who has been swept away by the storms of life. I promise if you're alive life will try to sweep you away as well. You need a life raft. And God wants to meet you in His word and help you build one. If you would like to know how to start. Check this out. As for me, I can't wait to dive in and see what God has for me today.

*As always when blogging about foster care details are obscured and fudged to protect the identities of the children. 

Cure for Insomnia

Seven Kids

A Few Tricks To Help You Survive the First Night Together

In honor of the sweet little lumps snuggled into their beds soundly snoozing away under my roof for the first time ever tonight, I thought I would jot down a few tips and tricks to help you get through your first night with a new foster care placement.

Now, to be completely honest, I am no expert. This is only my fourth ever "first night" however I realized that things went alot smoother today than they did our first go around. We have learned and implemented a few things that worked super well and maybe just maybe another brand spanking new foster family would appreciate a heads up.

Seven Simple Tricks to Help You Survive The First Night of a New Foster Placement


1.) PRAYER: Now I'm sure not all foster parents are into Jesus and spiritual stuff but this one is. I couldn't do this if it weren't for the Holy Spirit's guidance and wisdom. As soon as I get a call about a potential placement I start praying. The kids and I pray together and it gives me a chance to remind them., these new foster siblings who might be coming are probably scared and sad. We pray for wisdom, comfort, healing. The kids, the workers, the bio family, ourselves... all covered in prayer together as a family. Prayer is our number one tool to get through any day. When we get the false alarm call we pray again and call it a night. If we get the conformation call we pray again and kick it into high gear!

2.) PREPARE AHEAD OF TIME: You never know what you're going to get but as much as you can try to be ready at a moments notice. Ha! We have a tote full of extra toys and blankets and toothbrushes other fun/basic stuff that we keep in a closet. Today the extra bedroom was decked out all girly because we were expecting an 11 year old girl to arrive next Thursday. Because of this placement that went through today she got bumped into bunking with Kayli so we moved all girly stuff out of that room and stocked the room for a boy. Changed the bedding, gathered all the boyish toys dispersed throughout the house, and threw up a welcome to our home sign. It only took about 10-15 minutes and we had the room ready. Don't underestimate the power of a few toys and a welcome sign. Every kid should feel wanted and special.

3.) PIZZA: To take the most advantage of this tip you MUST choose delivery. You have a million and one things to get through tonight and figuring out dinner needs to be thoughtless. Don't forget to order at least one 'nothing but oozy gooey cheese' pizza. You have no idea what these kids will like but I have never met a kid, no matter how picky, who turned up their nose at cheese pizza. 

4.) FINGER NAIL POLISH: If one of your fosters is a girl take the time to paint her nails after bath time. She will feel like a princess. It is most likely a rare treat for her. It will give you time to sit quietly and chit chat. One simple coat of whatever color she likes the best is more than enough to sprinkle a little happy on a really tough day.

5.) GRAND TOUR: Can you imagine how weird it must be to have a brand new home and a brand new family and not even know where the bathroom is? I have bio kids so they get to be the Grand Marshall's of the Hami Fami Home Tour when new foster kids are brought  into the home. They show off every room pointing out the details they think are important. "This is our bathroom, you can put your toothbrush here, don't put it down low or the baby might use it to clean the toilet." *ahem* They show off the bedrooms, the toys, the backyard, the swings, and before you know it they are all playing together and laughing and playing.  It really breaks the ice and gets them together having fun in no time.

6.) FAMILY MEETING AT DINNER: {Not to be limited to the first night, this one is useful every night no matter what your family is like! } Go over exactly how you want the evening to go. For example, "we are going to clean off the table then I want you to do homework, you to do bath, and then switch. When everyone is in their jammies I will call out BED TIME and that means everyone head to the yellow bedroom to read a story before everyone gets tucked into bed." Take the time to go over the next day as well so the newbies, and everyone else for that matter, knows what to expect. Keep it simple, but give them points of interest to help them get through the evening and the next day. Don't forget to include something they can look forward to but only if you can guarantee 100% you'll do it no matter what. Something as simple as playtime after school should do the trick.

7.) BED TIME ROUTINE: {Again this one is useful every night!} New house, strange people, shadows and noises that you've never seen before.... bedtime can be really hard or really scary or really sad. You never know. Take time to read a book, sing a song, say a prayer, talk about your favorite part of the day. Ease into it and make yourself available. I choose to sing and rock the youngest and everyone else is tucked into bed and gets that soothing comfort without feeling babied or pressured into intimate rocking/cuddling. Of course they may beg for a turn and by all means go for it. After I do book and prayers I send everyone off to their individual rooms and make my rounds. Every room has a rocking chair available. Every kid gets tucked in and a song if they want it. I always ask permission to give a kiss on the cheek. (Some kids may be wigged out by that!) Good night's and I love you's really do help. It literally takes me an hour or two to make said rounds some nights. It is worth every minute of my time. Everyone gets some one on one time, a dose of comfort, and a good nights sleep.

When Mornings are Rushed

There is nothing more amazing than a day that is begun saturated in the Word.

Mornings that involve the snooze button, burnt toast, screaming kids, missing shoes, and honking school bus horns sometimes pretty much never leave room for the aforementioned.

Unfortunately my family doesn't think I should sleep till 10 and then enjoy an hour in my chair cuddled up with a snuggly blanket, hot coffee, my Bible & journal for some rich study and prayer time.

They expect breakfast and clean underwear EVERY morning all before the big yellow bus shows up at 7:00 am.

Brats!

No matter how hard I try my body does not accept 5:00 am. {It doesn't do much better with 6:00 or even 6:30.}

Since days when I don't fit some "Mommy Bible Time"* result in the most revolting putrid fleshy stink permeating my home, I had to come up with a quick and easy way to get some Jesus in me every morning. No matter how crazy and frantic.

{*Doing the kids daily devotion during pre-school hour didn't do much to banish the stink of my flesh.}

Enter these beautiful little sticky tabs.

On mornings when I can cozy up in my chair with my Bible (like when Mr. is home and semi-caring for the children) I use these to mark the passages that strike me as a 'must-read-this-EVERY-morning-to-keep-my-attitude-fresh' sorta verse(s).

Like this one.







.























Then in the mad dash to get my morning started I can flip through the tabs, refreshing my attitude all while pouring seven bowls of cereal, rounding up 14 almost-never-matching socks, still half asleep. Score!

When you're on the road and there are tummy issues...

...windshield cleaner found at the nearest full service gas station is an EXCELLENT puke cleaner-upper.

Organized Cupboards... is that possible?

I don't know if I am alone on this or not, but it seems like every time I look through my cookbooks to plan a few meals ahead I never know for sure exactly what I have on hand and what I don't. It never fails that I end up buying something I already have one (or even two) of in my cabinets. When I was cleaning out my cupboards this week I decided to try something different. 

As I was putting things back in the cupboards I wrote down on notecards what was in each. When I need to know if I have something all I have to do is check the notecards. When I use something I simply mark it off the card. By adding marked out items to my grocery list preparing for shopping trips is just a tad easier.   

Excuse the crappy picture all I have to work

 with right now is my phone. :0)

Another thing I did was put baskets on the higher hard to reach shelves so that when I need something I can just grab the whole basket down. This way things stay a little neater instead of being thrown haphazardly back in*. 

 

{ *Hypothetically, they have only been there a mere 24 hours or so,

 time will tell if things stay neat. :0) }

I also am keeping frequently used recipes that I reference often on the inside of the cupboard boards, as well as directions to cook the oats that I transfered to a plastic storage container.  

These is just small changes I made to make my life a smidge easier. What about you? Do you have any tips or tricks to share with me?

A little Gift-Giving Advice

I try to be a savvy shopper, especially when forking out money for gifts. I don't want to spend money on something that will turn out being absolute junk, so naturally when Kayli had her heart set on having a 'muffin maker' for her birthday. I did some research. According to all the reviews it was crap, didn't work right, and tasted like cardboard. Really bad cardboard. Of course I didn't buy it for her...

My sister did, even though I told her not to she bought the crappy muffin maker. I was a little irritated she did exactly what I told her not to but Kayli was ecstatic, it was what she had been begging for and she was on cloud nine. Couldn't wait to cook her 'muffins' (FYI they are cupcakes but she calls them muffins-not exactly sure why.) She cooked her muffins, they tasted like cardboard, and the frosting thing sure enough did not work right at all. What a waste of money right!?

Well actually, Kayli was absolutely thrilled. She had an awesome time 'cooking' with her Daddy. And I heard her exclaim more than once "These are the best muffins in the world!!!"

Whats the point... well sometimes the toy they want is a complete waste of money and a total ripoff, but the kids don't care. They have fun even if the spiny thing doesn't spin, and their taste buds evidently like cardboard so....

If it is something Kayli has begging for for months, next time I think I'll get it anyway, because even though the toy isn't worth the money, the smile on her face sure is.