Okay - so one of the biggest hurdles to adopt was telling my parents and Josh's Mom. I certainly did not expect any of them to understand or be the least bit thrilled about our decision to adopt. Nothing prepared me for Josh's Mom's reaction. Not even my worst nightmare got close to what happened.
Josh's Mom stopped by one day and was trying to convince us that it would be a good idea to buy a part of her company (she has her own trucking business) because it would make us 'easy money.' We had no intention of telling her about Karol or the adoption yet but because we felt cornered we told her we couldn't invest in her business because we were saving up for something kinda big. (Adopting is expensive!) Now we already have a house, we already took our once in a lifetime dream vacation, and we already had to do some major repair work on our house (new roof, new flooring - take my advice don't rent out your house!) Needless to say she wanted to know what we could possibly be saving for in addition to getting our house payed for. When we told her we were adopting I handed her a photo of Karol and told her that he could very well be her new Grandbaby in the near future.
To say she flew off the handle would be putting it mildly. She was so upset! I love you dearly Mom L but now that its over I kinda laugh. She was so upset and the only thing she could get out in an understandable sentence was... (and this is me paraphrasing) "I understand you think you are doing a good thing by adopting this child but have you taken the time to consider how it will mess him up being raised by white parents? He probably won't like it you know."
I still am amazed that I spent hours agonizing over the horrible things our family would say and I can honestly say I never once imagined I'd have to defend myself for choosing to adopt a black child. Have you seen the picture of Karol? Granted that child has a healthy tan, but come on, he isn't black, not even a little bit. I mean come on.. isn't Poland known for blonde hair and blue eyes? Certainly not the middle of Africa people.
Anyways I am not recording this to in any way offend my mother-in-law. I love her dearly and truly think it is funny now that it is all over and done with. That is why I am recording it. I did ever so politely let her know though that if he were black I would still adopt him because I think color is only skin deep. Color is a description but not a definition of a person. God created us all in different colors and I don't see anything wrong with any of them or with mixing them in one big happy family. (In fact I think it would be cool to adopt a child from every continent.) If I was an orphan who wanted a Mom & Dad I think I would be happy with anyone who would love me. Regardless. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ anyways. I can't help but think of Nicole C. Mullens song 'Black, White, Tan.
Momma looks like coffee, Daddy looks like cream
Baby is a mocha drop American dream
All the colors of the rainbow are in her family tree
Woven all together in a paisley tapestry
She holds real tightly to her parents' hands
Baby loves that woman, baby loves that man
And her soul gives a smile 'cause she understands
That love is black, white, tan
Yeah, yeah, yeah black, white, tan
Everyone is precious in the Father's site
It don't matter red or yellow, black or white
He just loves ya 'cause He loves ya
I tell you this is true
You are not a color and a color is not you
So hold real tightly to your Daddy's hands
'Cause he loves that woman, He loves that man
And let your soul smile give a smile 'cause you understand
That love is black, white, tan
yeah, yeah, yeah black, white, tan
Actually now that I've thought about it she has had a funny reaction to each of our children's arrivals. When we told her I was pregnant with Kayli her reaction was, 'please tell me you're talking about the cat not you.' And when we obviously, deliberately hand painted on Kayli's onsie 'I'm a big sis' to wear to Nana's house while Mommy & Daddy were on a date she called to say, 'please tell me you got this kids clothes at a yard sale again and you're not trying to send me a message.' And finally with Karol, 'you can't adopt a black kid, it will mess him up for life.'
My wonderful mother-in-law, gotta love her!
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