In honor of the sweet little lumps snuggled into their beds soundly snoozing away under my roof for the first time ever tonight, I thought I would jot down a few tips and tricks to help you get through your first night with a new foster care placement.
Now, to be completely honest, I am no expert. This is only my fourth ever "first night" however I realized that things went alot smoother today than they did our first go around. We have learned and implemented a few things that worked super well and maybe just maybe another brand spanking new foster family would appreciate a heads up.
Seven Simple Tricks to Help You Survive The First Night of a New Foster Placement
1.) PRAYER: Now I'm sure not all foster parents are into Jesus and spiritual stuff but this one is. I couldn't do this if it weren't for the Holy Spirit's guidance and wisdom. As soon as I get a call about a potential placement I start praying. The kids and I pray together and it gives me a chance to remind them., these new foster siblings who might be coming are probably scared and sad. We pray for wisdom, comfort, healing. The kids, the workers, the bio family, ourselves... all covered in prayer together as a family. Prayer is our number one tool to get through any day. When we get the false alarm call we pray again and call it a night. If we get the conformation call we pray again and kick it into high gear!
2.) PREPARE AHEAD OF TIME: You never know what you're going to get but as much as you can try to be ready at a moments notice. Ha! We have a tote full of extra toys and blankets and toothbrushes other fun/basic stuff that we keep in a closet. Today the extra bedroom was decked out all girly because we were expecting an 11 year old girl to arrive next Thursday. Because of this placement that went through today she got bumped into bunking with Kayli so we moved all girly stuff out of that room and stocked the room for a boy. Changed the bedding, gathered all the boyish toys dispersed throughout the house, and threw up a welcome to our home sign. It only took about 10-15 minutes and we had the room ready. Don't underestimate the power of a few toys and a welcome sign. Every kid should feel wanted and special.
3.) PIZZA: To take the most advantage of this tip you MUST choose delivery. You have a million and one things to get through tonight and figuring out dinner needs to be thoughtless. Don't forget to order at least one 'nothing but oozy gooey cheese' pizza. You have no idea what these kids will like but I have never met a kid, no matter how picky, who turned up their nose at cheese pizza.
4.) FINGER NAIL POLISH: If one of your fosters is a girl take the time to paint her nails after bath time. She will feel like a princess. It is most likely a rare treat for her. It will give you time to sit quietly and chit chat. One simple coat of whatever color she likes the best is more than enough to sprinkle a little happy on a really tough day.
5.) GRAND TOUR: Can you imagine how weird it must be to have a brand new home and a brand new family and not even know where the bathroom is? I have bio kids so they get to be the Grand Marshall's of the Hami Fami Home Tour when new foster kids are brought into the home. They show off every room pointing out the details they think are important. "This is our bathroom, you can put your toothbrush here, don't put it down low or the baby might use it to clean the toilet." *ahem* They show off the bedrooms, the toys, the backyard, the swings, and before you know it they are all playing together and laughing and playing. It really breaks the ice and gets them together having fun in no time.
6.) FAMILY MEETING AT DINNER: {Not to be limited to the first night, this one is useful every night no matter what your family is like! } Go over exactly how you want the evening to go. For example, "we are going to clean off the table then I want you to do homework, you to do bath, and then switch. When everyone is in their jammies I will call out BED TIME and that means everyone head to the yellow bedroom to read a story before everyone gets tucked into bed." Take the time to go over the next day as well so the newbies, and everyone else for that matter, knows what to expect. Keep it simple, but give them points of interest to help them get through the evening and the next day. Don't forget to include something they can look forward to but only if you can guarantee 100% you'll do it no matter what. Something as simple as playtime after school should do the trick.
7.) BED TIME ROUTINE: {Again this one is useful every night!} New house, strange people, shadows and noises that you've never seen before.... bedtime can be really hard or really scary or really sad. You never know. Take time to read a book, sing a song, say a prayer, talk about your favorite part of the day. Ease into it and make yourself available. I choose to sing and rock the youngest and everyone else is tucked into bed and gets that soothing comfort without feeling babied or pressured into intimate rocking/cuddling. Of course they may beg for a turn and by all means go for it. After I do book and prayers I send everyone off to their individual rooms and make my rounds. Every room has a rocking chair available. Every kid gets tucked in and a song if they want it. I always ask permission to give a kiss on the cheek. (Some kids may be wigged out by that!) Good night's and I love you's really do help. It literally takes me an hour or two to make said rounds some nights. It is worth every minute of my time. Everyone gets some one on one time, a dose of comfort, and a good nights sleep.
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