Grief Is SO Random

It's been almost 9 years since my father-in-love passed away. Since the drive to the hospital knowing his time was up I have had a supernatural peace about it. God is in control. He has a plan. We will see him again in Glory. So on and so forth.

Today it hit me like a ton of bricks and I feel so cheated. So wounded. For the first time ever ANGRY at God for taking him away. I wanted him with me today. I wanted him to see my girls dance in their ballet recital. I want him to go with me to tball and softball games this week. I want to rest my head on his shoulder as I sit beside him and I want to feel his soft hands pat my arm. He would be there. Every time. No matter what. But he can't be. 

Just so you know God. Not healing him on this earth when you could have really blows. I sure could use him down here with me today. 

And pretty much every other day too.