Well, I've done it. I've pondered and stewed and I have made myself some lofty "no pressure to be perfect" goals to focus on this year. I don't have any desire to share them publicly. They are nothing earth-shattering or inspiring. I also have 47 loads of laundry to do and three kids need their education today. Apparently, someone left me in charge of that. Everyone will also want to eat today. Priorities people. But... just in case someone shows up here I thought it might be worth my while to share the process.
Maybe you, like me, look around and cringe. Changes... yes that would be good. Goals might help, but I am so messed up and broken in every which way and I don't even know where to start. Maybe, instead of making some goals with some actionable steps to help climb out of the pit you just sit down with a pint of chocolate chunk ice cream and do something mind-numbing to help you forget how miserable you are. Feel free to insert your drug of choice into the previous sentence. Yes, chocolate is my drug of choice. Judge me if you want. It won't change me.
Maybe you need a boost, a helping hand, someone to come alongside you and nudge you in the right direction. I suppose I can help there. Someone helped me. I can't remember exactly where I picked this up from. A book, a mentor, a friend? I have no clue. I have definitely slept since then. I assure you though I am not smart enough to have come up with it myself; nevertheless, I think you are going to like what I have for you today. A busy woman's guide to setting goals that will help you live the life you always wanted.
Step 1) Think about the day you die. Pretend you are on your deathbed. Who do you want to be in that moment? When you relive your entire lifetime in sixty seconds, what do you want to relive? Remember you're not on your deathbed right this very second so this is a dream. A morbid dream of sorts, but a dream nevertheless. What have you done? Who have you become? What have you lived through? Who do people say you are? Remember this isn't now you. This is future you. Your life has been full. You've done all that you had ever hoped and dreamed you would. What was it? What is most important to you. Cut away all that doesn't really matter to you and what is left? Write your obituary in your head. What would your epitaph be? These are your goals. To become this person and get these things done.
Step 2) Make a list of actionable steps. The keyword here is actionable. These are things you can do. What actions can you take to get where you want to be. Basically, what do you need to do between now and then to get to that point? Want to be fit & healthy running 5k's in your 70's? Maybe you should consider going for a walk sometime between now and then. Or maybe that's just me. I digress. The point is you need to figure out what you have to actually do to meet your goals.
Step 3) Break it down. Small manageable, 'I can do this!' chunks. I want to be healthy. I know I need to make better food and drink choices. I should definitely drink more water and give up sweet tea. My goal is manageable chunks so I am not going to make my goal to stop drinking sugar water completely. Instead, I will alternate between a cup of tea and a cup of water throughout the day. Eventually, I might even challenge myself to drink two cups of water before my next cup of tea. That sort of thing. It won't do you any good to make a lofty goal you won't meet so break it down until it's small enough you are willing to actually do it. In this final step, it is very critical that you commit to being honest with yourself. Dream phase is over. This is reality.
That's basically it. To figure out where you need to go in life you've just got to figure out where you want to end up. Work backward. You will have clarity as you make your goals and consider your ambitions for the years to come. Build yourself a bridge from where you are today to where you want to be at the end.
If you're stuck in step one unsure of where and who you want to be; here are some ideas to get you thinking. Just pick which ones matter to you: marriage, children, extended family, finances, career, fitness, health, friendships, travel, hobbies. Do you have a bucket list? What would you add?
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