Our Growing Family

I figured its high time I explain the whole "we went from a family of five to a family of NINE overnight-ish" thing.

If you know us well you know the mechanics of it but we haven't ever shared our hearts on the matter with anyone. Maybe in pieces here and there. But never completely, never ripping back the veil and showing the vulnerable places of our hearts.

It's time.

But First: A dedication of sorts...

I had a friend in high school. She was never allowed to come over to my house. Except for her birthday party I was never able to go to hers. We couldn't go out to the movies, or the mall, or do anything fun after school. I never understood that then. But at school and at church, through a crazy weird set of circumstances. {It involved a very freakishly weird high school era love triangle that you don't want to hear the long and short of. Trust me.} We became the best of friends. Unfortunately after high school we grew apart and aren't really in contact today. Something I deeply regret and wish could change. I have to introduce you to my friend because she is why my family has grown. It is in her honor so to speak. All that we do, we do in part for her. Just because she was my friend and I loved her with all my heart. Always will.

Now: The backstory….

Mr. and I went through a rough patch financially that lasted about two years. One year was because he quit his job and gave the whole 'maybe I'll try and run my own trucking business' a whirl. The only reason he did this is because he didn't see any opportunity for bettering our family's financial situation at his job and we wanted to do something that we felt we needed to be more financially stable to do. Needless to say, trucking didn't go so well. Then we worked for a small local business that was our dream job situation, until they deemed me unworthy of my paycheck and then eventually stopped giving him his paychecks as well. Wasn't so fun after a while.

We learned and grew ALOT in those two years. If I could go back and do it all over again, as hard as it was, I wouldn't change a thing. It was hard times a million but we needed to go through those tough situations to learn some lessons that would make us stronger and more compassionate than we ever could have been on our own. {Mission Accomplished.}

For those ENTIRE two years I carried with me a phone number for a sweet little lady who held the key to a dream of mine. At the bottom, when life was at its toughest, I would pull out this little tattered and crinkled paper and dream about the future. When Josh was offered his old job back the FIRST thing I did was call her. She no longer did what I needed her to do. MAJOR bummer. The very next day after calling her I saw a pull-tab flyer advertising my dream. I pulled the little tab, crossed my fingers, and made a phone call.

Finally: The answer to how we came to be…

{I feel like we need a drumroll here.}

After our initial meeting we began training with a local private foster care agency. We chose this agency for one reason and one reason only. They had a flyer in a restaurant and made themselves easily found. I don't know the ins and outs between the differences of 'regular ' foster care and the private agency we work with, but this I know. Training came to us and was at my kitchen table. It was easy. All I had to do was clear off a space for a few hours every week. It was very very do-able. Within a month we were licensed and ready to accept a child, possibly even two, into our home.

I am going to actually leave the whole "pulling back the veil and sharing my heart" part of why we chose foster care for another day. This is me skipping over that entirely for now.

So as brand spanking new, green as can be, freshly licensed foster parents we waited. We were told we would get a phone call when they had a child who needed us. In foster care you have complete control over what type of child you foster. Age/Gender/Race/Family Situation… its completely up to you what type of child you do or don't want to help out. Mr. & I had a very short "do not call us" list. The only thing we were told in training was; 1.) we would know everything about a child prior to placement. Anything we wanted to know we just had to ask and they would do our best to find the answers as information was made available; 2.) We would never get more than one or two children at a time. *

Our first call was very exciting. I was in the middle of a reading lesson and I was told to be on stand-by because they might need us for a little boy. He was placed with a different family and I felt like a deflated balloon.

For me this was like false labor. Which was actually very exciting for me. Since I had three c-sections, the first of which was a result of a failed induction, it was very neat to get to experience the thrill of waiting for 'my water to break' so to speak. {That was a terrible analogy, I apologize.} My days were busy so I didn't think of it much throughout the day, but at night I would lay in bed and imagine what it was going to be like when the phone rang with a child who needed placement. What kind of kid would we get? How old? Girl or boy?

Then. It happened. The phone rang with a referral.

"I have four boys who need placement will you take them?"

 "Sure, wait, four?" Seriously. Then before she could respond. "Yes we'll take them, please don't split them up." Forget discussing it, "Yes!!!" just tumbled out. Thank goodness my Mr. agreed! I actually received a few follow up phone calls. I can't say they were trying to talk me out of accepting four, but they were certainly making sure we were up for it. I found out later that they called EVERYONE else first. They purposely waited to call us absolutely last, 'because we knew you'd say yes.' My heart swells at that. I am happy to get to be a "Yes" person. I like saying YES for Jesus. It makes this messy life worth it. All I have to say is 'suckers!' na-na-na-na-boo-boo. Every single one of them had the chance to have these amazing blessings but I am the LUCKY and BLESSED one who gets to be their temp-Mom. {I've considered striking this out of my story because it sounds kinda conceited but I don't mean it in a conceited way. I am very humbled by the opportunity to get to say yes in this situation and really want to encourage others to join me and say yes as well, its hard, AND oh so very worth it.}

Within a few hours of the phone call we were headed to McDonald's. Completely clueless. We didn't know a single solitary thing about them other than they were boys and their ages (one of which was given to us wrong.) As we drove I mentally wrote a letter to bio Mom in my head. I brought pen and paper with me but I couldn't put it down in real words yet. It was all to sacred. I could barely pray through it. Before we knew it four BOYS were being loaded into our van. As we were leaving the social worker took my hands as she was handing me a garbage bag of their belongings. {Time Out for Rules: I am not allowed to post pictures or give detailed information about the children to protect their privacy. I am learning the ins and outs of this. If stuff disappears its because I got to loosey goosey on the details.} As she handed me their belongings she looked straight into my eyes and said,

"This is long term. They have known NO structure. Good Luck"

Jiminy Crickets!
What did we get ourselves into?

All I could think of the entire way home was, "What in the world am I going to do with four BOYS?!?!?!? Long Term…. what the heck does long term mean? Pinch me please. Could they be adoptable??? Long Term… boys..." This literally played through my brain on re-peat for the entire hour long drive back home as I tried not to stare at them in the rearview mirror.

And that my friends is how we went from 5 to 9 in a little over a month.

P.S.) For those wondering 'long term' ended up translating into 6 months. Something I didn't know for a few days so I'll save you the complicated emotional mess of trying to translate that for yourself. It was yucky.

{***Lesson number one of foster care: Expect the unexpected. We knew nothing and we got more than two.}

My Lucky Seven
As in I'm the lucky one to have all seven!