To those who are asking questions....

Numb.


That's
how
I
feel.


That's
how
I
think.

That's
how
things
sound.

Hazy.

That's
how
things
look.
That's
how
things
are
remembered.


Our reality
these days
is greatly
dulled
by numbness....
things are
seen
and
remembered
through
a fuzzy
haze

I
can't

escape.

I suppose
that is
just
a part...

a BIG

part..

of

God's

GRACE.

It is so hard
to share
in
a tweet,
or a
facebook
status,
or a
blog post
what
I
am
experiencing
right
now.

What
we
are
experiencing
as
a family.

What
we
have
gone
through
and
what
we will
now
encounter.

What is the
right
medium
for addressing
and announcing
our sorrow
???

We
are
swimming
through
a
fog.


Our
senses
are
dulled.

Did I
already
mention
that

???

{sorry}

Nothing
feels
real.

For someone
who
is used to
announcing
to the world
every
little
minute
detail
of my life,
and I do mean EVERY...


...from what I fixed for dinner..


...to torturing my husband in dressing rooms...


...and every thing in between...


I

for
once

am at
a loss...

for

words.

I am not
able to
share
our grief.

It is to

personal.

It is to

private.


To share it

would solidify

its presence.

To announce it

would be to admit

our present reality.

One
I
am
not
ready
to
accept.


To those of you
who know..
your love
and support
is
so
VERY
appreciated.

To those
of you
who are wondering...

God
is beginning
to ever
so slowly
pull back
the veil of fog...



we
will
be
sharing.

God is
privately
being
honored
and
praised..

soon those
praises
will be
made
public.



but
for
now..

we are still numb.